Learn to be grateful.

I decided to sleep early for the last two nights. But it seems like the earlier I go to bed, the more I'll feel tired. Nevermind, I think I'll try sleeping early for a few more nights. Heh. :D Anyway, yesterday was a "Xiaoying being hardworking" day. Taught my lifesaving class in the morning. Then brought Huabin along to earn some bucks. Lol, we sat in an air-conditioned room, slotting hamper catalogs into plastic envelopes for 3 whole hours. Easy peasy, but I realised I had cuts on my fingers after that. After that, we attended an SLSS Workshop – Induction on Aquatic Activities for People with Special Disabilities - with Mr Kwa. Saw quite a lot of familiar faces (Examiners, lifeguards, my Swim Team teacher.. ><) & I was just wondering, are these people with special disabilities considered a less privileged group of people or people like you & me, the TABs "Temporarily-Abled Bodies"? They may have some disabilities, physically or mentally, but are we really more privileged than them in that sense? Maybe not. Maybe we are the less privileged bunch of people instead. People with visual disabilities are deprived from the colours we see around us, the simple yet beautiful things we're able to see. But how many of us actually appreciate what we have & what we are able to take in with our eyes? We are able to witness the beauty of Nature, sunrises, sunsets, how the trees sway in the wind, how the waves roll in gently onto the shore, but very few of us actually spend time appreciating these beautiful sights & appreciating the fact that we are blessed with eyes that allow us to be able to see the faces of our loved ones. & I was super amazed by how people with polio can sit & throw a rope properly when some of us can't even throw a rope properly even though we are able to stand. & this strikes me about how we are seldom grateful for what we have. Are you guilty of complaining that you're too fat, that your elephant thighs are simply too thick & ugly? I am. >< But right now, I'm really glad that I can walk, run, jump, swim & do many many other stuffs with my legs. I can't imagine what I would be like without my legs. Without my legs, my medals would be non-existent. So why am I still complaining so much during trainings? I should really start to learn to be grateful for what I have. (:

A good start for my busy Saturdays

YES, MINHUI & ANGES! I'M REALLY LAUGHING MY ASS (OOPS. OKAY, CORRECTION: I'M LAUGHING MY HEAD OFF.) LOL! I THOUGHT MY TAGBOARD SUDDENLY JAMMED OR SOMETHING LUH! 'CAUSE THE WHOLE THING'S FILLED WITH EITHER MINHUI OR ANGES. HAHA. THANKS ALOT ALOT ALOT, YOU GIRLS JUST BRIGHTENED UP MY BUSY SATURDAY(:

Anyway I had a class this morning. & I was late (Yeah, nothing new right? ><) I don't know. It was just super chilly this morning. I was feeling super cold even though I was all snuggled in my blanket. & I just held on tightly to my blanket each time my Mummy tries to pull it off me. Anyhoos, class was okay today. The girls didn't know my name until today luh. Dots. Then as I was leaving after class, I heard "BYEBYE XIAOYING!" & so I waved back. Lol. Damn cute luh. I'm starting to like teaching (although I haven't really mastered the "being stern & in control" part) (:

Then left Toa Payoh for afternoon training. It was tiring luh, but I hope my legs will become a lot more toned after each fin training! & I got to try my new fins out. Yaye I love my blue fins. :D
Okay, I shall leave house soon to meet Minhui & Anges before heading to Toa Payoh for training. See if I can find a pair of Havaianas that I like alot alot so I can buy it today! (Although I just got a pair of light blue Birkenstocks yesterday & it's superduperwhooper nice!)

&&& I thought,if Xiaoying doesn't say Happy Birthday to you,you'll feel very very sad right?
Right right right?!
So here's* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
happy fourteenth, my nice friend! (:* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Xiaoyinglovesyou.
Continue being nice & I might consider buying you a nice lil birthday pressie!

From motivated to sick within a day.

I actually went for a run on my own yesterday! Only 'cause Mr Kwa cancelled it & I wasn't informed about it. So it's not my fault that I didn't ask you to go run okay, Chen Jing Xin. Lol, I ran past Yishun gym twice okay. But I didn't see you & you didn't see me. So, too bad. Haha. (: Anyway! I still think it's quite an achievement to run 10clique on my own. Yaye, I wish I could be that self-motivated every training. Hahaha. Actually I was just blasting that same X Japan song all the way as I ran. Maybe next time I should try blasting Dragonforce's songs. Lol. I ran past two guys who were jogging quite slowly. On my second round, I met them again on that same stretch of road. I couldn't help it so I laughed. & they actually laughed too. I found it quite amusing. Lol. &&& I want new sandals. Ever since my Braziliano Praias broke, I feel deprived. Not much of a choice of what to wear each time I step out of my house. Just that pair of plain white Havaianas. Okay, but even though there's a lil teeny weeny bit of special significance in that pair of slippers (Somebody I had a crush on last time bought it for me lol!), I'm starting to get sick of it. & speaking of sick, I'm, or rather, I've already fallen ill. What's worse, I have 3 Subway cookies waiting for me in my fridge. & I'm super tempted to just steal a few bites. ><

Sorry..

Nicefriend, sorry for "playing you out" today & causing you to take "off" from your work for nothing. I swear it wasn't on purpose. I was really tired. That's the reason. & it certainly wasn't because someone didn't go. If that's what you (no, not you) think, then I'm really disappointed. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I think I'm getting more & more vulnerable these days. But I can't help it. The more you trust a person, the more vulnerable you are to him/her. Yes no?

I'm not in the mood to update about how self-motivated I was today. & to make matters worse, I'm actually sneezing & coughing & feeling cold. Guess what that means. I'm gonna fall sick. How wonderful.

Nevermind.

My mood's swinging again.
swingswingswingswingswingswingswingswingswingswingswingswingswing

Why am I feeling left out?
Why am I feeling as though no one's helping me?
Where are all my friends?
I'm just wondering..
Nevermind.

Really. Nevermind.

Isn't it always like that?
This cuckoo girl having mood swings on and off..

Nevermind.

You suck. Or rather, I suck.

This is to my beating organ:

YOU SUCK.
WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT?!FUCK.---- EDITED ----& this is to that good friend out there:(You know who you are,since you never fail to label yourself as a nice/good friend)Thank you for just being there,for making me smile amidst the gloominess I felt tonight with just one simple sms,for knowing me that well to be able to guess what's wrong with me.First guess & you Bingo-ed.Now I'm more convinced by your claim that you understand me quite well.Lol.I love you, my nice friend(:Though you didn't advise or provide me with any direction& I'm still at a loss.(& though your favourite pastime seems to beto suan Xiaoying till she buay tahan)Thank you(:

I'll need loads of four-leaf clovers.

Tomorrow's gonna be the first lesson.
Waking up early,
not being late,
(We're talking about Xiaoying here so it's really amazing. Hee.)
being firm,
not to keep fidgeting while speaking, (My bad habit.)
&(hopefully) leaving a nice & good first impression. Okay, gotta go scrutinise my beloved lifesaving manual already.Besides, I'm lazy to update today.Okay, byebye.
I'LL NEED LOTS OF LUCK.


I'm back to square one again. To turn to the left, or right, I really don't know.

I'm not excited about it.

Received quite a number of phone calls & smses today.
From Mummy, Mingzhu auntie, my auntie, my other auntie, friends (Zhenhao on MSN blahblahblah)...
Today's Farewell Alma Mater
Somehow I'm not very excited about it.
I don't really feel like going.
I don't know why.
For a moment, I even felt like crying.
Something's wrong with me.

...

Praise me!

MSN IS A SUPER DINGDONG PIECE OF SHIT.
I signed in & wanted to start playing all my SolitaireShowdowns & Sudokus, only to realise I couldn't even talk to anyone at all. You made me feel so deprived & friendless luh, MSN. 'Cause everyone's like just daoing me & ignoring whatever I've painstakingly typed again & again.

Soooo..
I went to sms Joseph & Minhui & found out that they had the same prob too. Hahaha. But after a while, the "MSN Daoing" problem acted up again. & I "scolded" someone 'cause of that. Heh. Sorry luh okay, sad boy? (:
I hope it's not gonna act up again, it'll spoil my Wednesday night luh. I'm still waiting for Minhui to come online & play with me.
Kuai dian, kuai dian! (:

ANYWAY, my main purpose in blogging tonight is:

(Aaah, sucks.It's acting up again.& people are daoing me again.Or rather, they can't see what I'm typing.Dang.MSN, you're really out to spoil my Wednesday night.)


ANYWAY!
What I wanted to say was:
I was a good girl today (Really!)
Because!
I finished today's training programme!
&&& without complaining much!
(Usually I'd be negative after a few sets of 100m freestyle & start grumbling & complaining & whining & showing black face. & then Daphne would scold me again. Haha.)
But!
Today, I didn't!
I was rather quiet (Uncle T-jian thought something was wrong with me..)
& very positively positive!

& my times were rather consistent.
Even Daphne said

So..
YAYE!

Praise me too, will you?Try it! It's free!
Here's how to praise Xiaoying:
Go to my Tagboard, type in your name & praise me! :D
(You can choose from the following)

1. "Good girl. For your hard work, I shall reward you with an apple." (or whatever that has to do with apples ^^)
2. "Great job, Xiaoying! I shall reward you with a Hershey's pie for being so positive dring training."
3. "Whoa. Xiaoying, you rock!"
4. "Wow, not bad. I wish I can be like you too(:" (Hahaha!)

Okie dokies. I was only kiddin'!
Nevermind, I'm happy-shalala tonight! :D

LG Chocolate!

What does it mean when a guy who hasn't been talking to you for like, one year or so, suddenly pops you an sms? & asks you out for a movie time & again? & asks about the guy whom I just went out with? & asks my friend about my birthday? & asks me if I have any upcoming events or competitions? & wanted to go look for me at Sentosa 'cause he wants to see how lifesaving is like?
WEIRD.
I'm a bit apprehensive about this.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too deep into it..
Nevermind!I'll decide if i wanna go catch Step Up with himwhen Saturday approaches. (:
& ANYWAY, I WANT A NEW PHONE.
I'M EYEING THAT LG CHOCOLATE PHONE.

IT'S SUPER DUPER SLEEK & COOL, ISN'T IT?!SO, CAN I HAVE IT?

A happy week

It's alr 12.52am & I can't finish my Yan Yan chocolate biscuit sticks.
Anyway, to Anges & Minhui:
Where got rusty? My blog's cleaner & whiter than ever!It's made of good quality stainless steel 'kay.
Okay, but I admit I haven't been blogging much. :D
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HAPPY (belated) SMASHIN' SIXTEEN TO MY BESTFRIEND!

& of course, I'm still waiting for all of you to finish your irrinoying O's(:
&&& thank YOU for the movie,for scaring me & yourself too,for holding the popcorn 'cause I didn't want to,for pulling my jacket sleeves away from my face whenever the ghost appears.Haha,
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..was a getting-paid-for-doing-nothing day. It was pouring when Joseph, Kelvin & I reached Sentosa. So 3 dingdongs ran in the rain, barefooted, from the Yellow line bus stop & sought shelter under the lifeguard tower. Drenched & freezing cold, but still considerably fun. (:
..then (reluctantly) attended a wedding dinner at night. The bride had a surprise item for the groom & she actually sang a song on stage. Super brave. Then my father suggested that I perform a "swimming" item for mine next time. LOL. Whatever. & I had a bit of fun stealing a few of those lovely red roses along the aisle. :D
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I had absolutely no idea what to do on a beachtrainingless Sunday, so I took some of my Disney Fairytale Polly Pocket sets & started playing. They're really lovely 'kay, & I bet these are like limited edition now. Hurhur. Here! :D

This is from Aladdin.There's Aladdin & Princess Jasmine,the Sultan, Abu (the cheeky monkey), Raja (the tiger),evil Jafar, the cute magic carpet,& the lovely BLUE genie(:
This is Snow White & the Seven Dwarves.I can name all seven of them:Doc. Bashful. Happy. Sleepy. Sneezy. Grumpy. Dopey!& there's the evil witch who's holding on to an apple.(Poor apple..)

& this is Cinderella,complete with her Prince Charming,Fairy Godmother, evil stepmother & stepsisters& her pretty horse carriage.
&&& I baked cookies with my sis. At least I didn't idle my Sunday away(: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Okay, I'm off to bed for now.
I hope my feelings for you haven't faded, like how the stars do against the morning sky.

Very itchy y'know.

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To those jellyfish/seabugs/whatever itsy bitsy in the sea:

This is especially for you.
I HATE YOU.
You never learn,
you bite/sting me whenever you have the chance to.
Okay, maybe not only me.
But right now, I'm the one itching okay.& then what's worse,I have all these ugly scars left behind.& it's all your fault!
Yes I'm talking to you luh.
Don't smile smile at me.
If you stop biting/stinging me,
I might consider making friends with you okay.
If not you shall stay friend-less.
Or you can go make friends with Adrian,
since he claims that you are all under him.
Lol. Oei.Are you listening or not!
Very itchy y'know. ):Humph.You suck.
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I'm a good girl for.. 3 days(:

Early rise&shine for 3 consecutive days.. & you're talking about this lazybum here. Can you believe it? Hur?! :D Monday was when I got up of my own accord (which is quite pro. :p), yesterday was waking up for a morning run with Mr Kwa (not very willingly), & then today was to observe those taking their Bronze Cross test at Sentosa. I woke up at 7 'kay. I'm really proud of myself. Hehheh. (If Daniel hears this, he'll say I'm byl again.)

Yesterday was a rather pleasant Tuesday. Went to Bugis to get the Converse wallet that Minhui wanted. It's quite nice, quite classic-looking(: On the way, we stopped by at GuanYin temple to baibai. & that was probably the first time I stepped in there without my mother/aunties/grandma. Lol. Actually wanted to go get some free sweets, but on second thoughts, nah!
"You damn cheapo luh!" -Leonard. Okay, fine luh. Haha.

Anyway, their Bronze Cross test today was quite a breeze luh. It was faster than I had expected it to be, partly 'cause the examiner was a really nice guy. So while the rest were doing their test items, I was half-observing & half-slacking with joseph / picking shells / picking feathers for jeriann. After their test, I did beachflags with Jeriann & Mr Kwa. But I think I'm getting slower. Then surfed. I picked up a purple Pediasure milk lid which was floating around. & then I started to play Surfboard Frisbee with Mr Kwa & Zhenhao. Damn funny luh. We shall all start playing this new & exciting game during trainings. Lol. Mr Kwa was saying that he spotted the dingdong lifeguard taking photo/video of me, or rather us. Hahaha. If it's true, I hope that dingdong's handphone or whatever black thing he was holding spoils like, tonight. LOL. & Lunch @ Subway plus an extra piece of Godiva chocolate is just yummy.

Training later on. Think I'll take a short nap,
& let's hope I can wake up on time for training.
I'm in a good mood today.
It's amazing what that lil piece of Godiva can do to my day.

IRRINOYING

Although I admit that I dao people quite often, I dread it when people dao me. I don't know why. Humph. & now I feel just like my profile pic. I'm think I'm developing this irrinoying xiao jie pi qi. FYI, Irritating + Annoying = Irrinoying. Ugh I'm irrinoyed luh. Shoo.

What a Monday

I just popped a piece of Godiva chocolate into my mouth. Yum, I love its richness & how it melts in my mouth. I've been up since 10am. Somebody praise me, it's not everyday you get this pig here waking up this early in the hols okay! A lot of people can testify for me. Haha. Anyway, the first thing I did was to check my phone. Nevermind, no sign of that name. I can't believe I'm having that naggy feeling again. The feeling of waiting for someone's sms, even a "Hey..how's your day?" should be good enough to brighten my day. But then again, nevermind. I'm trying my best to get used to it. If anyone's to be blamed, it's myself. & if you people out there are assuming that you know who I'm talking about, I'm sorry, but you're thinking of the wrong person. (: Putting all that aside, feeling quite pleased with myself for such an early rise&shine, I got up, brushed my teeth happily & sat down to prepare my own breakfast, wondering what I should do to kill time today. & so I lied down on my sofa & started watching X-men: The Last Stand. I know I'm not supposed to be lying down while watching tv, but I just can't help it. That leather sofa's just too comfy & cooling. Even Huajian agrees okay. Haha. Then I heard my UnderTheSea ringtone, it was Rachel. "Eh booboo i'm damn bored.You want to watch movie?" Lol. How ironic. I'm watching one now. So not knowing what to catch, she decided to go perm her hair. I wonder how she'll look with her curls. Lol. So I went back to watching my X-men, pausing the dvd occasionally to get up & go look for some food. But all was in vain. Nothing at all, except Sunshine bread & some icecream. So I happily scooped some icecream onto the bread & continued with my movie. After X-men, I wanted to carry on watching something else but I couldn't find any other stuff to watch. & so, I came online & rotted online, blasting Dragonforce's music. Somehow, its loudness & rockness seems to be able to fill the empty feeling I'm having. I don't know why I'm feeling that way, I'm just feeling empty. I need some entertainment. I need someone to entertain me. ): & speaking of empty, I've yet to please my almost-empty stomach. My lunch hasn't found its way into my stomach yet. I'm too lazy to go out & buy. Boo, Xiaoying. Ha.

My apples ):

The green crystals/sequins/whatever you call those shiny stuff are dropping off the thingo I hang on my phone. I lost my hairclip which had always been on my green Mambo bag. But I can't remember where I put it or whether I dropped it somewhere. I can't find it anywhere.. & my badge's kinda spoilt 'cause some water seeped into it & now the inside's rusty. Rahh. I feel like a loser. Fancy getting my lovely s lost & damaged. ): My imaginary friend's telling me to knock my head for being so careless.

The last day

3 November '06:
Last day of school.
Last day of Sec 4 life.
Last day of taking MRT all the way to Orchard & waiting for that 190 bus at Orchard Boulevard bus stop early in the morning.
Last day of sitting at my seat beside the window.
Last day of sneaking food from the canteen to our classroom upstairs.
Last day of being a student in that classroom where a lot of illegal eating & gambling had been going on for almost 3 months.
Last day of having Rebecca asking me to open the windows in the middle of a lesson just to check if it's pouring outside.
Last day of turning to the back & trying to imitate "Miss Swan" with Giraffe (which irritates Rebecca a lot. Hee.)
& all the other things that today was probably the last day I could do..

I don't think I'm very attached to this school of mine, but I had this strong nostalgic feeling the whole day. Somehow, I think I'll miss the school & everything within it a lot a lot.

& actually you don't have to remove your previous post. I read it. & I just want to let you know that I cherish this friendship too. You're probably the girlfriend I spent most of my time with. I'm sorry if I did anything or didn't do anything & caused you to have doubts about this friendship we share. & I admit I've kept some of my personal thoughts & secrets to myself, not because I didn't take you as my friend, but because I wasn't sure whose side you were on. 'Cause all this while, you guys have been standing on his side & hardly anyone asked how I felt about this whole fishing game.

But I'm not really upset about this. I understand. If I were attached, I would feel green too, even over the most trivial matter. & that's probably why I think I'm not ready to get a boyfriend yet. Yes, he provides security, but insecurity too. I've experienced the fear of losing someone close & precious before too. I'm not upset because you misunderstood me, but just about how I'm the cause of such incidents yet again. The first time round, I've had enough of knowing how the wife can bitch about me during her frequent mahjong sessions. & I've had enough of tolerating & crying . I'm not saying that you'll do the same, 'cause I believe you wouldn't. But I just hope that I won't be the cause of such incidents again. It makes me terrible. & my mother too, 'cause she's seen me crying far too often.

So yeah, I hope our friendship still stands as before. I wouldn't want to lose my bestfriend too.

Bang me (again).

I can't believe I'm actually crying over the same kind of matter again. & as dumb as I may sound, I wouldn't even have been that involved in these matters in the first place, if I hadn't poked my nose right into them. I meant "that involved", as in I was a direct participant in it, rather than a mere onlooker. & in both incidents, I was the person who was being shot with pangs of guilt that my attempt to help might actually mess the whole situation up. I think I must have been the dumbest asshole on Earth, but all I want to say is: Right from the start, I have absolutely no motive at all; just because I cared. But now I've come to realise that this care was, perhaps, totally redundant. I'm not upset because it hasn't been appreciated but because the intention had been distorted.

But after crying it out, I guess I'm fine. Twice is enough. Once more, & I think I'll just have to resign to being anti-social, to save myself & others from more headaches. For now, yes, I guess I'm fine.

BCME? PCME?

I have no idea what subject combi to take next year. I can't decide: BCME or PCME? Actually, I still have this nagging feeling of wanting to go to poly. Don't ask me why, 'cause I don't know the reason myself. But since I don't seem to have any choice now, I shall think solely about what combi to take in JC. Aaah, I really can't decide luh. I like Bio but I'm afraid it'll be too taxing & too much information to stuff into my teeny weeny brain. Okay, I don't know why but I feel like eating Subway cookies now. & I've yet to buy my Farewell Alma Mater dress. Retro.
Nevermind, I'll worry about all these later. Off to training now!
(& lose those shit fats off my bod) [:
On a sidenote:
I feel like cutting my hair, or at least not chopping it off, but just making some changes to it. Like, dye it red? Okay I was joking. I'm getting ultra bored with it.